Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Not What I Ordered

Some days life is interesting.

You might be wiping your kitchen counter while your children are eating lunch.  You hear a strange noise and turn around to see your three-year-old daughter choking.  You might even have to tip her over and hit her back and watch her try to start breathing again even as her hands and face turn a strange color from lack of oxygen.

On this particular day, you're most likely still fighting Strep throat.  You're taking those strong antibiotics that you only have to take once per day for five days.  And when you sit at the kitchen table and open the little foil packet to get out your bright pink magic pill, the pill falls to the floor and bounces out of sight.  Then you can't find the bright pink mischievous pill, even when you move the kitchen table and chairs and even sweep the whole kitchen floor (and then mop it while you've got everything moved).  Even little helpers down on the floor looking around can't find it.  It's gone.  No pill.  Any chance that four days worth of antibiotics will do the job of all five?  Your aching throat isn't so sure.

Maybe you might notice that it's time to pick up your son from school.  You decide to quickly use the restroom before getting your younger children up from naps.  And then when you stand up, you feel the odd sensation of wetness on your backside.  Turning around and surveying the situation reveals someone else's urine all over the toilet seat, lid, and floor.

Or perhaps you might be preparing dinner for your family.  Edamame may be the vegetable side of choice.  So you pour out the remainder of the frozen little green lima bean look-alikes into a bowl for heating and discover something other than edamame.  Something that's not even edible.  It's small and brown, and when you pick it up you recognize it:  a snail.


All of these things happened to me.  In one day.  Today.

Nora cried for a long time but eventually got her breathing and color back to normal.  The bathroom got a good cleaning and disinfecting (and a stern lecture was handed out to the offender).  And I will be writing the edamame company to let them know that I didn't order the escargot.

Yes, there is an actual snail in that shell.  And I seriously need to moisturize my hands.

I hope you have a great, no-snails-in-your-vegetables kind of day!


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