Full Plate

Since I started posting about the costumes I'm making, I've been asked several times how I have time to do so much.  The answer is simple:  I don't.

I've made sacrifices in order to accomplish certain things.  Some of my regular activities have fallen off the radar completely.  It has been almost 4 weeks since I first received the patterns and materials for this project, and I have worked on the costumes literally every single day in that time.  

Since I started working on these costumes:

• Jared had to go out of the country for a week on a business trip, and I had to be a single mom.
• My house has become a disgusting tornado of toys, laundry, dishes, and general filth.  {My mother-in-law came over to watch the kids so I could go to my Bible study one evening while Jared was gone.  I begged her not to bathe the kids before bedtime because I didn't want her to see my gross tub.}
• I have been making half-hearted last-minute dinners (with a separate diet dinner for myself...basically a copy and paste of whatever I had for dinner the previous night).  
• I haven't taught my children anything.  Um, other than how to choose the next episode of Curious George on Netflix.  And not to touch any of my sewing stuff that is strewn about the house.
• Speaking of sewing stuff, I have had my cutting mats and cutting supplies set up in my living room, my serger set up on my kitchen table, and my sewing machine on the coffee table in the family room.  Not pretty.
• I went from exercising 6 days per week to squeezing in 2-3 workouts per week.
• I haven't seen my poor husband.  He says I'm in "costume world."  He uses costume as a verb.  As in, "Are you gonna be costuming after the kids are down?" and "Do you have to costume during nap time?"
• We get fewer hours of sleep with each passing night.  If this trend continues, I will sleep about 18 minutes per night by Easter.  
• I haven't been able to unwind with any of my favorite activities.  No baking, no internet browsing, no crafting for fun, no leisure reading.
• I have not been able to fulfill any requests from my friends and family.  One wants a cool bag for an extra camera lens, one wants a cute shirt for her daughter's birthday, one wants curtains for her baby's room.  These are all projects I would love to take on, and it kills me to not be able to jump right into what my loved ones ask me to do.

I have been able to keep up a few things.

• I still prepare a lesson each week so I can teach my adult Sunday school class at church.
• I am keeping up with the daily devotions and reading for our church's series 40 Days in the Word.  
• I'm still tracking my calories on Spark People and sticking to my daily limits.
• I break out of my house a few times per week for play group at our church, Bible study, a coveted date with my hubby, and the occasional school activity for Nolan.  This week he was honored at a Young Authors awards night.  He even got a little trophy.  I'm a proud mama and had to squeeze that in somewhere. :)
• I got my hair cut and colored, which was about a month past due (if not more).  My sister is my hair dresser, and she gives the best head massages ever.  Sometimes I wish I could get my hair colored again just so she'll have to wash it out.
• I completed a March Madness bracket.  Then I tried not to throw a toddleresque tantrum as I watched the stinking teams ruin my bracket.  Duke & Missouri...I'm talking to you.

You can see the list of things that have fallen through the cracks is much longer than the list of things I've kept going.  In fact, I've basically just kept up with all church activities while working on the church costumes.  I guess that's not a bad reflection of my priorities.

As much as I detest my messy gross house, I am most heartbroken over the time I have robbed from my kids.  I have been edgy and impatient.  I have put them off so I could finish just one more thing.  I have allowed them to watch waaaay more TV and play more video games (even if some are educational) than I ever thought I would allow.

I see the effects of my busy-ness most in Griffin, my middle child.  One day this week he asked me why I take care of Nora (my youngest) more than him.  I tried to explain that she's little and just needs more help, but it still stung to think that he sees it as me caring more for her.  

At the Young Authors awards night, Nolan's name and title of his book were announced as he walked across the stage and received his trophy.  The crowd chuckled at the title of his book because they thought it was cute/funny.  When we were ready to go home, Nolan could barely hold his tears in.  He finally broke down and told me that he didn't like everyone laughing at him and it made him feel bad.

So on the drive home from the awards ceremony, we poured on the praise.  We told Nolan that we are so proud of him and it was such an honor that he was chosen out of everyone in his class.  We were pulling out everything we could think of to try to explain that people weren't laughing at him but just laughing because his book was cute.  

Then Griffin spoke up.  "Mom, how come you're not as proud of me as you are of Nolan?"

So, please don't think that I've got it all together and I'm somehow cramming more hours into my day.  My plate is overflowing and I'm spilling all over the place.

I keep reminding myself that this is temporary.  This is a season, and a short one at that.  This too shall pass.  It probably even seems ridiculous to some people that a few costumes would turn my daily life upside down.  I basically feel like I took on a part-time job in addition to being a stay-at-home mom to 3 kids age 5 and under.  

And I know it doesn't make much sense that I would start a blog in the middle of all of this.  But I needed the outlet.  Sometimes I just feel like I have to speak (ahem, write) or I'll burst.  I compose around 2-3 blog posts in my mind every day.  I just don't have time to type them all out.  Plus I know that most of them wouldn't be interesting to anyone.

So, if you're still readying this incredibly long post, thank you.  I just needed to type for a few minutes to clear a corner of my mind.  I hope you all have a fantastic weekend.  You know what I'll be doing.

Jessica