The Good, Bad, and Ugly

Our world has been a little crazy.  No, no.  It's been very crazy.

Jared had back-to-back trips with just about 36 hours home in between.  In the nearly two weeks that he was gone, we had more activities/commitments/responsibilities/to-do's/extras than we have in a typical full month.

I wish I could have had time to tell you all about what we've been doing.  Today I spent the day making cupcakes for my mother-in-law's annual Valentine's Day cupcake competition, which will take place tomorrow.  I have tons of pictures to edit and hopefully post so I can at least tell you about that.

I also did a bunch of work for the kids' valentines and Nolan's Valentine's Day box (the other two kids made their box/bag in class).  I hosted a bridal shower for a dear friend's daughter.  For that shower I made two different flavors of cupcakes, cookies with color-coordinated sprinkles, and custom cupcake toppers.

We've had basketball games and practices, church meetings and gatherings, spent time with some new friends from school, and kept up with all of the regular daily life stuff.

I thought rather than tell you all about everything, I could just tell you "the good, the bad, and the ugly."

Only let's go in reverse order so we end on a positive note.

The Ugly
Someone fraudulently used my credit card number, full name, home address, and home phone number to order a $400 camera from an online sporting goods store.  Fortunately for me, that company checks any order in which the billing address and shipping address don't match.  I was alerted to the fact that someone had my personal and financial information, cancelled the fraudulent order, closed my credit card, and started monitoring my credit.

I felt violated that someone has my information.  The worst part is that no one cares about who did it.  There's no repercussion for this criminal, and no one is going to track him/her down.  I just close out my credit card account and monitor all other accounts for suspicious activity.  That person gets to move on to the next credit card number they have.

For those of you who are Friends fans, I'd like to become "Mononna" and track down the "Monica" using my card so I can spend time with her and see who she is.

The Bad
Like many of you, I got hit pretty hard with the flu bug or whatever this thing is.  I was so sick while Jared was gone.  Because of God's perfect timing, the very worst two days of my sickness happened to overlap with the day and a half that Jared was home.  The day before he got home, I was super weak and just couldn't go on.  I laid down on the couch while the kids finished up homework.  Nolan came and laid directly on top of me and rubbed my hair while I drifted in and out of sleep.  We now refer to that as "The greatest snuggle of my life."  It really was.

While Nolan and I were snuggling, Nora took a picture of us:

I love this picture because it reminds me of Nolan's sweet tender care that he showed me when I couldn't even take care of my own kids.  And I love that my four-year-old took the picture.

The Good
The fact that Jared is home is absolutely in the "Good" category.  Another of my favorite "good" things lately is seeing Griffin while he's missing his two top front teeth.  Kids missing these two teeth is literally one of my favorite things in life.  Every single time Griffin talks to me, my heart melts and I have a hard time focusing on what he's saying because I find him just so darn cute.

This is a blurry cell phone picture I took to send to Jared after Griffin lost his second tooth.

One of his adult teeth on top is moving in so quickly that I can see more of it every single day.  I got a quick picture of him today while I was taking pictures of my cupcakes.  I wish I had gotten some more pictures of him with nothing there before the adult tooth started coming in.  Still so cute.

Have a great Valentine's Day tomorrow!

Jessica 

Joy

Tonight in the middle of our regular old bedtime routine, I got hit with a rush of joy.

Pure, independent, God-given joy.

Either one of you prayed for me or God just decided to bless me in this way.  Either way, I know the ultimate source of this joy.

I had plenty of reasons to be happy evening.

Even though Nolan was up last night coughing and home sick from school today, I took his illness as an opportunity to fill up my snuggle tank.  He really just has the same head cold that Nora and I already have, but I'll gladly come running to "Mom, can you snuggle me?" any day.

This evening I had to run to Walgreen's to get a new cough medicine to try on Nolan.  I could have been grumpy about dragging three kids through the cold and falling blanket of snow.  Honestly, I considered sulking.  Instead I let each child choose one Valentine's candy to take home for dessert (after dinner, of course).

My total for cough medicine, three special candies, and a new pack of breath mints (because Nora eats all mine from my purse) came to $12.00 exactly!  As I previously mentioned, I love when my purchase total comes to an exact even dollar amount.  It's a small pleasure in life. 

Due to schedule conflicts while I manage the kids alone this week, I needed to reschedule my kids' haircuts (originally scheduled for Thursday of this week).  My sister is our hair stylist of choice, and she books up weeks in advance.  She made a special time for us to come in this afternoon so my kids could get their haircuts before our big snowstorm made the roads too dangerous.  We had the whole salon to ourselves, and my niece (one of my kids' favorite people) was there as well.  It was just so relaxing to watch the kids talking, playing, and dancing in front of the salon mirrors.  I think when my kids are grown they will remember hanging out at Aunt Kristi's salon.  A happy thought.

This afternoon I prayed a desperate prayer for someone I love who had called me with noticeable pain and weariness in her voice.  My heart longed for God to bring her relief, direction, wisdom, answers.  She called me back this evening, and I got to hear hope in her voice.  I got to hear how God rearranged the minute details of her day to lead her to an answer she needed.  I know that tomorrow isn't going to be trouble-free, but God answered pleading prayers today.

While I was on the phone relishing the sound of my loved one's lighter voice, Griffin and Nora decided to make some cards.  Griffin even made one for Nora--definitely a first.  He made two cards for me.  When I got off the phone, I read the cards.  The first one was so cute:

To:  Mom, From:  Griffin "I {heart} you"

Oh, but wait for it.  That card was just getting you warmed up.  Now I'm going to show you quite possibly the best card I've ever received in my life (no offense to those of you who have given me amazing cards).

Are you ready?

You are cute.  I {heart} you.  I am glad to have you as my mom.

Seriously.  Is there anything better in life?

Griffin was super lovey all evening, even after I made the kids help me straighten up the whole main level of our house.  I even let them stay up past their normal bedtime.  I felt better about life once the house was put back in order.

During the bedtime routine, Griffin read our Bible story for the night so I could apply Vicks Vapo Rub to the bottoms of Nolan's feet.  {Have you heard of this remedy?  My sister does it with her kids and it helps with their coughs.  Nolan pukes when he takes medicine other than Tylenol, so I was willing to try this.}  As I was trying to suppress my grin at Nolan's disgust over the goop on his feet and the feeling of having to wear socks to bed, I treasured the sound of Griffin's voice reading our Bible story.  He even asked us questions about the story at the end.  I indulged him and raised my hand to answer questions.

When the kids prayed after devotion time, I was so touched by their little prayers.  I wish I had them recorded.  Nora prayed for Griffin to stop being mean to her and to stop making this face {insert scrunchy nose mad face} at her, for Nolan to not yell at her, and for several other little details to make her life easier.  Griffin prayed for Lauren F. in Mrs. S's class in third grade at school because she wasn't able to come to school today.  Nolan always prays very adult-sounding prayers that tell me it is actually possible for children to develop a real relationship with God no matter their age.

As I prayed out loud, with Griffin laying his head in my lap and Nora cuddled up next to me, I thanked God for my three babies.  They make me smile in ways that no one else can.  Every single minute I'm with them, I can find so many things to enjoy about them (if I'm looking!).  After prayer time I asked Nolan how his dry hands were doing because he usually puts lotion on them before bed.  He said, "They're not good, but I don't want any more liquids on my body!"  I laughed uncontrollably.  He wasn't whining or throwing a fit, but he was genuinely at his limit of how much goop he could handle on his body.  When I told him that he cracks me up, he sarcastically replied, "Ohhh really?  I never knew that!  You hide it so well!"  Sarcasm from my seven-year-old is hilarious.

After I got the kids in bed, I finally located our bottle of super glue and fixed the mounting pile of broken toys that have been accumulating on my kitchen counter.  I reattached two soldiers' legs, a baby's leg, and a steering stick on a remote control.

I have SO MUCH left to do this week.  So much.  But I'm going to go ahead and take a moment to feel good about clearing off my counter and stopping my kids from asking one more time when I'll get around to fixing their toys.

And I got to talk to Jared tonight even though he's an ocean away and half a day ahead of us (so weird). 

Even though I can list all these reasons to be happy, I still feel the difference between circumstantial happiness and the permeating joy that I felt tonight.  The joy came over me at a time when I am usually most exhausted.  I'm physically worn out and emotionally tired.  I'm sick and haven't been sleeping well without Jared home.  Getting the kids finally down for the night can often require a little more gas than I have left in my tank.  But right in the middle of tired, sick, and doing chores, I felt joy spread across my chest and light up my face. 

A beautiful blessing straight from God.  If you're the one who prayed for God to give me that joy, thank you.  And guess what?  I just prayed for all of you reading this to experience true joy!

Jessica

Lost Teeth

The Tooth Fairy has been to our house twice in the last week.

First, my little Griffin lost his first tooth Saturday night.

My niece Layla was the one to pull out his tooth (although it was so loose it would have fallen out if he exhaled too hard!).  Layla has a special talent for pulling out teeth.  We have a running joke that she's like a shark who just keeps regenerating teeth because she seems to have lost about 57 teeth so far.

Layla put Griffin's tooth in a baggie and labeled it.

Griffin wrote a letter to the Tooth Fairy and put it under his pillow along with his tooth.

Dear Tooth Fairy, this is my first tooth!  Layla pulled it! Because it was ready

and I was not scared.  And what is your name?  Love, Mr. Glitch and Griffin

Griffin called himself "Mr. Glitch" because he is obsessed with finding glitches in his favorite Mario video game.  It's one of his favorite things in life right now.

Griffin happily received $1 for his missing tooth.

Two days later, while the boys were home from school due to dangerously low temperatures, Nolan pulled out his fifth tooth.

I think he was a little inspired by Griffin's tooth loss success.  I forgot to take a picture of his letter to the Tooth Fairy, but it included a few requests.  He asked for a Skylander or a Marvel comic book instead of money.  He also asked for a blue toothbrush for his brother.  The Tooth Fairy regretfully informed him that she only carries $1 bills for teeth but would be happy to provide the tooth brush as it was both a kind brotherly request and an important part of dental hygiene. 

I remember feeling a bit heartbroken when Nolan lost his first tooth.  I recalled the difficult process of teething to get those teeth in!  I was sad that he was growing up and that his smile would look different than it always had.

Now I am excited for the boys as they are proud of their own bravery and excited to show everyone the holes in their mouths.  I can embrace their growing and changing...in baby steps.

I asked the boys if I could get a picture of their cute little holey smiles, and they actually cooperated!

And lest you get too warm and fuzzy, this is the other shot I got:

Jessica

Nora's 4th Birthday

*Update:  This post has been awarded the "Best Decorations" badge by PartyPail.com!

It has come to my attention (ahem) that I forgot to post pictures of Nora's birthday party.  Woopsies!  Poor girl.  Her birthday is December 27, so it's right in that crazy Christmas mix.

She really wanted a tea party for her birthday party this year.  We still do family-only parties, and I knew some of the men would not appreciate cucumber sandwiches and tea.  So I decided to make soups and sandwiches and serve all sorts of hot beverages.

Somehow I forgot to take pictures of the actual food.  I made a Crock Pot full (to the tippy top!) of chicken and noodles, which has been a huge hit with my family in the past.  I also made a giant pot of Weight Watchers Cabbage & Vegetable Soup because several people are watching what they eat (and it's warm and delicious).  For sandwiches we just ordered regular gondolas and turkey gondolas from our local LaGondola and cut them into individual sandwiches.  Hey, a girl's gotta take some help where she can.

Nora chose her own outfit for her party:

Then she applied the makeup she received from us for Christmas.  It's the kid stuff that looks colorful and sparkly in the container but goes on practically clear.  She LOVES getting to wear her makeup, and she talks funny when she has lip gloss on.

We set up seating, used colorful tablecloths and decorative napkins, and hung up a girly birthday banner.

Jared's adorable grandma kept me company while I finished setting up.

I ordered the tea party and plates and napkins from Oriental Trading and bought the silver plastic spoons (just to be extra fancy) at a local store.

Dinner plates (and you can barely see the sandwiches on a silver platter)

Dessert plates

We found cute heart candles to go with her desserts.

Nora doesn't really like cake, so I made Tea Cookies (the kind with the thumbprint in the middle filled with frosting).  The purple frosting was almond flavored and the pink was vanilla.  I also made some chocolate chip graham cookie bars and cut them out with a heart cookie cutter (which ended up being a bit of a chocolatey mess).  We also had ice cream (not pictured).

We served several hot beverages.  I had a pot of hot water and a variety of teas.  I made the Duck Dynasty recipe of homemade hot chocolate and served it in my sister-in-law's black carafe.  I also brewed a big pot of coffee and offered a wide variety of creams.  We used a set of tea cups that my mom bought for us as well as some cute clear plastic disposable tea cups that looked fancy (they're hard to see in the picture).

The kids squeezed together at one table.

The adults sat together in the kitchen.

And our niece Addison roamed back and forth between the kids and adults.

Nora sat on Grandpa Dan's lap while we sang "Happy Birthday" to her.

Nora and Jared did a pinky cheers with their tiny tea cups.

I love her smile here!

Then we all headed downstairs so Nora could open her presents.

Our niece Layla helped Nora with her presents.  Nora absolutely adores her big girl cousin, and I love watching them together!

My brother was busy playing with the claw machine toy we bought Griffin for Christmas.

Griffin found a snuggly place by Grandpa Dave.

Nora ended the party by trying on her new leotard from Grandpa Dave and new tutu from Uncle Erik and Aunt Bree.

She did some ballet with Layla and played with her new toys.

It was a very fun girly birthday party!

Jessica

Not For Sale

Last week while the kids were home for a snow day, the boys decided to turn their room into their own store.  Griffin hung this sign on the wall in the hallway:

They were so cute making price tags for items and pretending to sell stuff to each other.  Griffin walked out to me with his ornery I've-got-a-secret grin on his face.  I noticed a sticky note on his shirt.  Apparently he had priced himself at $100.

I told him I'd buy him up in an instant!  I also told him I'd pay waaaaaaay more than $100 for him.  He kept raising the price and I kept affirming I'd pay it.  We got to one quintillion (his favorite number) dollars, and I still said he was worth more.  It was a great mother-son moment to tell my Griffin that he's priceless to me.

I'm pretty sure the moment was then ended by some other sibling quarrel or someone getting hurt or at least crying.

Fast forward to this week (Tuesday).  Great day for the kids, decent evening.  Jared was gone until late for a church board meeting and then the church basketball league, so I had to take all 3 kids to Nolan's basketball practice.  It all went fine until we were leaving.

Then Griffin made a series of bad choices.  It was one of those times when I was fuming and swore a punishment was a-coming, but I just couldn't think of an appropriate punishment right that minute.  Ever have those?

Anyway, it was a rough time trying to get the kids ready for bed.  We had to wait for Nolan to finish up his shower and teeth (the younger two showered before practice), so I made Griffin come sit with me to discuss where things went terribly wrong.

It wasn't the most pleasant conversation.  I'm not sure if we made any progress in the grand scheme of me trying to teach him how the world works and how he should behave in it.  But at least I stayed calm and tried my best to go beyond offense-punishment to actually discussing his behavior.  I also tried to maintain physical contact with him the entire time to let him know I love him, even in the midst of a frustrating conversation.

At the end of the conversation, I said something like, "I know I'm not a perfect mom, but I'm doing my very best."  He said I hurt his feelings by saying I'm not a perfect mom.  I explained that everyone makes mistakes, including me.  Then I jokingly asked if he wanted to get rid of me or trade me in for a different mom.  He said no and then ran off.

I busied myself with getting everyone settled in bed, and Griffin ran back to me with something in his hands.  He stuck a piece of paper on my back.

As he climbed into bed, I twisted my shirt around to see what he had written and taped to me:

Not for sale.

Griffin isn't looking to upgrade me just yet.  I may not be a perfect mom, but I get to keep my job. 

Jessica

Holding It Together

I've had quite a week.  I've managed to hold it together through a series of circumstances that should have made me panic.  I held it together through parenting difficulties and even worked to make progress with some kid struggles.  I held it together through all the big stuff, only to crack this morning over a tiny thing.

First, the big stuff.

You should be warned: this blog post contains embarrassing details from my life.  Proceed with care.

This may be a bit awkward to blog about, but we had a bit of a pregnancy scare.  I mean no offense to any of you who would give anything to find yourself pregnant, but that news wouldn't be a pleasant surprise for me and Jared.  We are terrified of screwing up a fourth kid.  We are very satisfied with the size of our family.  We have already taken measures to keep our family the size that it is, the size we feel God created it to be.  However, I've heard plenty of stories of surprise pregnancies even after surgical preventative measures have been taken.  After enough time had passed without, uh, monthly evidence that I wasn't pregnant, we had to consider the possibility.

Panic started to creep in, so I prayed.  I felt God say, "Timing.  You have to trust my timing."  Then my Scripture reading for Monday included Psalm 27.  Verse 14 says, "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."  So God's peace won out over my threatening panic.  And in case you're wondering, I'm not pregnant.

Next was Tuesday, the day I had an important doctor's appointment.  I had found a lump in my breast the week before, and Tuesday I saw my doctor about it.  (By the way, I think "lump" is such an undignified word.  How did that become the term used in these cases?)  I had spent a week thinking about the possibilities and settling my mind and heart on whatever might happen.  In case you don't know, my paternal grandmother and great-grandmother both had breast cancer and my maternal grandmother currently has it. 

Even though panic should have been high on my list of possible reactions, it's not the one I went with.  From the moment I found the lump, God whispered to me that everything was fine.  I chose to hold on to his peace through the time waiting for my appointment.  (If I had all female readers, I would write you a hilarious post relaying the details of how things went at my appointment.  Like when the nurse asked me the date of my last period and I practically did a choreographed cheer because I'm not pregnant.  Or what it was like to sweat wearing nothing but a paper vest while waiting approximately 7 hours--give or take--in the exam room with nothing but a magazine I'd already read.)

Anywho...good news from the doctor.  All is well.  (Aren't you glad I took this time to discuss all my private parts with you?)

Finally, on the same day as the Lump Appointment, I lost my wedding rings.  Believe it or not, this little situation is the one that caused me the most panic.  I managed to take a breath and calm myself down before I went looking for my rings.  I calmly searched and found the rings on my bathroom floor.

So all of the big stressful stuff turned out fine.  And I think I managed to hold myself together and trust God to work it all out.

I shielded my kids from all of this stress.  I prayed for help as a mom, and God gave me some new ideas to make progress in my relationships with my kids.  I felt good about the mom I've been this week.

Then this morning I ended up snapping.  Over one little thing that one of my kids did.  I screamed at said child in the car on the way to school.  That's the absolute worst time to have a fight with a child.  I had to put on a happy face, kiss and hug him, and send him off to school to think about what a crazy yelling monster his mom is.

So after holding it all together all week, today I just feel tired.  Tired of spending all my free time exercising (bleh).  Tired of counting my calories/carbs/protein, and I'm tired of it not making a difference in how my jeans fit.  Tired of glancing at my white board to-do list that doesn't have any white space left on it. 

But there's still plenty of this week left, so I'm going to pretend that I don't desperately want to lay on my couch and eat cookies and be lazy.  I'm going to go back to doing all the things I'm supposed to do and trust God to take my measly efforts and turn them into what He wants me to be.  In the big stuff and the small stuff.

Jessica

A Basketball Win

I can't tell you about how Griffin's first basketball session went and then not tell you about how the second one (last Saturday) went.

I was hoping for some improvement.  I was hoping for less or no crying.  I wanted him to participate.

Wanna know how it went?  In a word, it was...perfection!

Griffin participated.  He ran after his ball when it bounced/rolled away from him.  He followed all directions.  He practiced his dribbling.  He high-fived the girl coach who helped him the first week (by the way, I did track her down and thank her).  When the kids sat together so the head coach could talk to them, Griffin raised his hand and answered a question.  Seriously!

I held my breath on two occasions.  The first was when he jammed his finger on the basketball.  He shook it off, showed his coach girlfriend, and went back to playing.  The second was when the helper coaches were running the kids through defense drills, and someone other than the girl who always helps Griffin called him over to run the drill.  I wasn't sure how Griffin would handle working with a guy he didn't know, but he did a great job!

I was so thrilled.  Jared, my dad, and I were BEAMING up in the stands.  We gushed all over Griffin when he was done with practice.  He's been working hard toward a behavior goal to earn a prize, and we gave it to him early.  I literally didn't have one complaint about how Griffin did at that second basketball session, and I wanted to make a big deal about every little component of his success.

Now I have to get my mind and expectations right for this Saturday.  I can't expect Griffin to do a perfect job every single time.  I have to make allowances for him to be a human, a kid, and a boy with some pertinent struggles.  I don't want to go backwards, but I know that my expectations of Griffin have to be hopeful but realistic.  

See?  Sometimes tough stuff gets better (even temporarily).  I like to celebrate the small victories to keep me going towards whatever is ahead!

Jessica