Jenga Straws

I couldn't hold my emotions in anymore.  I got up from my work chair, leaving it spinning as I stood too quickly, and went into the tiny bathroom adjacent to the patient therapy room.

As soon as I closed the door behind me, I cried.  I gave in and let the tears flow.  My face did that squished up unattractive thing.  I pressed a tissue just below my eyes to soak up any dripping mascara.  I didn't need to have my makeup cried off so everyone could see what a hard time I was having AND how my undereye regions look like someone with a terminal illness.

It wasn't that something awful had just happened.  It had been building all week.  I kept thinking about the phrase "the straw that broke the camel's back."  I had been carrying a load of straws, and the final one had just been placed on top.

I actually felt like I had been playing a game of Jenga with my straws all week.  My pile of straws included things like my 8-year-old daughter with a broken leg, my boys surviving middle school, my stomach refusing to just freaking digest food, my messy house, our family calendar, increasing migraines, my body image, and all the normal things that a part-time working mother of three balances.

These straws were constantly shifting, and new ones were thrown on the stack. 

I cleaned my messy house in an attempt to clear my mind, and within that very day, my lovely children turned my house into a national disaster.  I have been faithfully working out to a specific 90-day fitness system, making sure to get in at least 4 one-hour workouts per week.  This week I hit the 30-day mark and weighed in.  I weighed exactly the same as I did at the start.  Exactly.  I lost 0.0 lbs.

I eat gluten-free and take specific supplements in an effort to help my ridiculous stomach digest normally, but this week my stomach has been especially painful and nauseated.  I haven't been sleeping well, and I have no idea why.

I just felt like none of my efforts were making any difference in any area of my life.

On the plus side, I had been doing well taking care of Nora.  Her broken leg required help in all sorts of ways that I couldn't have anticipated ahead of time.  We had hit our groove with school.  I had a good handle on how to get myself ready for work as well as getting her ready for school each morning.  On the day I ended up crying in the bathroom at work, everything had started fine.  We got the boys to their school and got to Nora's school a little early.  I walked her in (she's on crutches) and carried her back pack.  I helped her to her desk and propped her foot on the extra chair and pillow I had made her.  I put her lunch in the basket and her folder in the bin.  I handed her the activity book I had remembered to bring for her to entertain herself while she waited for her classmates to arrive.  I checked my watch and felt good that I had exactly enough time to get to work on time.  As I bent down to kiss her goodbye, the principal walked into the room.

I had met with Nora's principal, teacher, and school nurse earlier in the week when she first returned to school.  We discussed any accommodations she might need, what the schedule would look like, how I would help her in and out of school each day.  I felt so blessed that my daughter attends an amazing school with such caring staff.  These three women were so kind and so willing to do whatever was necessary to help my girl.

But on this day, the principal was coming in to let me know that I needed to start walking Nora just inside the school and leaving her on a bench there to wait for someone else to help her to her room.  She said we couldn't be in the classroom "unsupervised" in the mornings.  I was confused.  And flustered.  She was so sweet and delivered her message like she was telling me my outfit was cute.  Nonetheless, I started to stress sweat immediately.  All I heard her say was, "You're doing it wrong."  I had to get out of there.

I felt the sensation of the last straw landing on the pile.

I arrived at work 5 minutes late.  I am never late.  And I walked in at the exact same time as my boss, so he definitely saw me arrive late.  There were already two patients in the waiting room and the phone was ringing.  I tried to switch from Mom Mode to Work Mode, but my emotions were already spilling over.  Thus I ended up crying in the bathroom at work.

As I reprocess all of this now, I realize that I had let a lot of things beat me up during the week.  People's words, my thoughts, numbers on scales and tags, circumstances.  Not only did I have bruises and fractures from receiving the blows, but I also had bloody knuckles from taking my own shots.

I think a lot of the thoughts that swirl around in my mind are coated in my own misconceptions and insecurities.  It's time for them to take a little bath in truth.  My house is messy, but it doesn't mean I'm a bad wife.  It means my family members suck at picking up after themselves.  It means we could all do a better job picking up after ourselves, and it's not all my responsibility.  I haven't lost any weight, but maybe my heart is healthier from my exercise.  My stomach is a constant source of pain and frustration.  I am doing the best I can to make good food choices, and some days are good.  I'm a super rule follower, and I never intentionally went against any of the arrangements we had made with Nora's school.  The principal has a responsibility to manage the school just like I have a responsibility to manage my kids.

Nora's leg will heal.  Some days my house will be clean and I'll feel good.  Some days I'll take my chubby hindquarters into the work bathroom to cry while my stomach hurts and I remember someone's critical words.  The beauty is that I get to start fresh each morning.  Sometimes I don't even have to wait for the next morning.

After I finished my ugly cry and wiped my face, I came back out to my workstation.  I took a few breaths in and out.  I turned to my coworker and said, "Morning:  take two.  How are you today?"

Jessica

Lunch Jokes

My kids take a packed lunch to school most days (Nolan takes one everyday).  I like to include a note in their lunch.  In the beginning, I wrote a little message each morning.  After awhile, I ran out of things to say!  Eventually Nolan got too cool for "Mom loves you" notes, so I started giving the boys jokes and riddles instead.

Do you know how quickly you run out of jokes and riddles when you have three kids needing a lunch note everyday??  I have exhausted the interweb of all free printable lunch notes/jokes.

Since I've run out of handwritten ideas and free printable ideas, I came up with a new plan.  We'll see how long this lasts.

Recently while I was shopping at Sam's, I spotted this book:

An idea quickly sprouted in my tired mind.

I bought the book and started cutting the columns apart. 

Then I tried to cut between the jokes to get multiple lunch notes from each column.  Some couldn't be split nicely, but oh well.  I can put one of these in each lunch (still just for the boys since Nora wouldn't get most of the jokes), and the kids can have multiple jokes each day. 

And there you go.  I'm solving life's problems one joke book at a time.

Jessica

Morning Joy

I'm not a morning person.  I never have been.  I'm not sure it's something I can ever become.

But I've learned to enjoy certain parts of my mornings.

My long-time favorite part has been the first time I see each child for the morning.  It may be when I wake them up with a hundred kisses on their warm, soft skin.  Or it may be when I drag myself out to the kitchen, following the scent of coffee, and find the boys already sitting at the table eating breakfast.  And then I kiss them each one hundred times on their warm, soft skin.

It's been crazy around here trying to get into our new morning routine.  Today completes our first full week of school for this school year.  Our timing is different because Nolan's new school starts 30 minutes before the elementary school does.  I'm caring for my friend's kids, Garrit and Abby, each morning for about an hour before school.  Last year I had to get all 5 kids into the car on time, but only 3 of them had to be ready for school.  Now I have to make sure all shoes are tied, jackets remembered, lunches in back packs, and back packs in the car.  Like I said, it's been a little crazy.

But I'm starting to love a new part of our morning.  When it's time to go, everyone piles into our new (used) minivan.  This is the first time we've owned a minivan!  I'm still opposed to the gold color and the fact that I'm a minivan mom, but I'm LOVING the convenience of this vehicle.  It's a good thing I love it because we spend so much time in that car!

So each morning we pile into the minivan and set off towards Nolan's school, which is about a ten-minute drive.  The route is new to us this year, so we've been observant of what we pass along the way.

Our morning drive has become an adventure.  On the first day of school, we noticed some geese in an open field.  Then we passed a lake where there was just one single goose floating on the water.  A few turns later, we passed some flood water in a field and saw ducks in the water.  Most of them were diving down into the water (presumably getting their breakfast), leaving their hind ends up in the air.

So now our morning adventure has morphed into a daily story involving these settings and characters.  We check the open field and notice whether the geese are gathered closer to the road or further back from it.  We guess what they might possibly be eating in that field.  Some suggestions may be weird or even gross.  We drive by the lake and look for "the lonely goose."  Yesterday he wasn't there, but then we saw a few geese later in a new spot.  We all agreed that it was the Lonely Goose and he had finally made a few new friends.  We were very happy for him.

Then we turn onto a road where I accelerate quickly and the kids are positive that this activates wings that come out of the side of my minivan.  This is just one of the many features of our fun new vehicle, in addition to its ability to morph into a submarine should we ever have a need to go under water.

Around the curve we come up to "Duck Bottom Pond."  This is everyone's favorite part of the drive.  We all tell each other when it's coming up.  Then as we pass it, we search for ducks diving down to get whatever they're getting (we guess about that, too).  We all triumphantly yell "Duck Bottom Pond!"  And that's when we are officially ready to start a new day.

I haven't been a very playful mom.  Imagination isn't my strongsuit.  But somehow these kiddos have helped me see the fun in making our morning commute into a story.  It starts their day out on a fun note.  It gives them little things to look forward to and distracts those who don't really feel like going to school.

It also reminds me to truly enjoy every minute of time I have with my kids each day.  Even the time in the mornings.

Jessica

First Day of School 2015

Here it is.  The dreaded first day of school.  Well, dreaded by me anyway.

Let's look at pictures of my precious babies and then we'll talk about this day.

Even Mom got a new shirt for the first day of school!

After school when I got all my kiddos back!

I always love the choices my kids make each year for back packs, lunch boxes, outifts, and shoes.  Nolan is into basketball and anything neon.  Griffin still loves blue and Minecraft.  Nora is a wildcard and continues to surprise me with each choice.  I loved this gray polka dot dress and she agreed!

This was a big year for us.  Nolan moved up to middle school and Nora--my youngest--started kindergarten.  It's been quite an adventure trying to learn the ways of middle school.  It's about 10 minutes away from our house (the elementary school is about 1 minute away from us).  It's a different car line system.  There's a lot more responsibility on the kids and a lot less parental control involvement.  And we don't know where anything is in the school.

On a positive note, we love all the teachers the kids got this year!  Nora has the teacher Griffin had for kindergarten, and Griffin has the teacher Nolan had for second grade.  Both of those teachers happen to be in our family's Teacher Hall of Fame.  Nolan's teacher, whom we know nothing about, is young and energetic and kind.  I think she's gonna be awesome.

So let's talk about that dread feeling.

About ten years ago, God placed an unbearably strong desire in my heart and calling on my life to be a mother.  About a year later, that dream came true.  When I kiss Nolan's soft cheeks before I go to bed, my mind instantly transports me back to kissing my soft, precious firstborn baby.  Griffin came along a little sooner than planned, and he presented us with unforeseen challenges.  But with greater challenges come greater victories.  And at the end of the day, that boy has the softest face and the sweetest smile and the gentlest kiss.  I love him more than I ever thought I could.  Then, of course, came Nora, the fulfillment of my secret desperate longing for a daughter.  She has proven to bring more joy than we ever anticipated.  She is hilarious and energetic and affectionate.  She's fiercely brave and will uphold our family legacy of strong women.

These kids have been my calling, my purpose, my daytime and nighttime, my job.  It's been the most difficult job a girl could ask for.  I couldn't possibly count the number of times I just didn't think I was up to the task.  I suppose God designed parenthood to be harder than we can do on our own because then we see our need for Him.

I have been so incredibly blessed to be a stay-at-home mom.  I wanted to be the one to teach my kids, play with them, help them grow and develop.  I wanted to experience the firsts and to be part of their everyday lives.  It's not that I'm trying to rehash the war on stay-at-home moms versus working moms.  I'm saying that this was my own desire and God allowed me to experience it.

That dream job technically ended yesterday.  Today marked the beginning of a new job, and I don't yet know the job description.  I feel sad to close a chapter in my life, especially a chapter I loved so much.  That's not to say that there aren't great things ahead.  I just need a minute to grieve the end of something wonderful.

For now, I am not planning to seek employment during this first year of having all my kids in school.  Anything could change at any time, of course.  I spent last school year overbooking myself, saying "yes" to everything, wearing myself down, and juggling too much.  I need a minute to breathe and figure out how to actually choose how to use my time and energy in the best possible way.  I'm still taking care of my extra kids, Garrit and Abby.  Last year I had them before school and then Abby was with me all day.  Now she is in Nora's kindergarten class!  So I'll have them for about an hour each morning and then will start the process of dropping off 5 kids at 2 schools.  At least I get to do it in my brand new (fairly used) gold minivan!

So I survived this day.  You know what, we kinda rocked this day.  I think it's okay to say that.  Gotta celebrate the victories.  Today goes in the "Success" column.  The kids are looking forward to tomorrow.  It won't be long before I loathe the sound of my alarm and the kids will be so sick of the morning routine.  But that's a problem for later.

I'm going to get some sweet sleep.  I need to be rested up to face that new car line tomorrow!

Jessica

Star Teacher Appreciation Gift

I wanted to share one more quick and easy gift for Teacher Appreciation.  My friend Michele found this idea and free printable on Simply Designing.

I printed the cards, cut them out, and punched a hole in the top.  I bought two rolls of Starburst for each teacher (they were 2 for $2 at Walgreens).  I chose special flavors just to make it more fun.  I simply tied the Starburst together and attached the cards.  Done!

It would be even cuter to fill a jar with Starburst candies and put the printable tag on the lid. 

On to the next task for May!

Jessica

Mint Teacher Appreciation Gift

May is CRAZY!  In addition to my son's birthday (yes, he requires a party for family and a separate party for friends), my daughter's dance recital (complete with pre-dress rehearsal and dress rehearsal and performance night), Mother's Day (I may be a mom but I also have to take care of the moms in my life), and all the usual practices and homework (and laundry and cleaning and meals)...this is also Teacher Appreciation week.

Anyone else overwhelmed too??

Well I really do appreciate all the teachers in our busy kid world.  I just don't have time to show them in the most creative way possible!  I helped our Parent Club deliver donuts on Monday and decorate the teachers' lounge.  Tuesday the club gave the teachers fresh fruit.  I already forgot what's being delivered today, but Thursday will be lunch and Friday will be cookies.  I participate in the Parent Club and helped raised the funds used for this week's gifts.  But I still want my boys' teachers to know that I personally appreciate them.

My friend Michele found this "mint" printable and even printed two extra copies for me!  She is a school secretary, and she made adorable little gift bags for the teachers at her school.  You can attach this printable to anything mint-flavored.  I just made it very very easy on myself.

I ran to Walgreens and bought a 3-pack of mint Tic-Tacs for $0.99 and a tin of cinnamon mints (just in case they want an alternate flavor) for $0.99 each.  I threw those into treat bags I had leftover from Christmas (I skipped the Rudolph toppers...).  I used white ribbon to tie them up and attach the printed card.

Voila!

The free printable card can be found at Made 2 B Creative.  It says:

Thank You for your
Achieve"mint"
Commit"mint"
Encourage"mint"
Invest"mint"
Involve"mint"

This morning as I watched someone carrying flowers into preschool, I realized that I've spent all my energy on the boys' teachers and forgot about the preschool teachers!  So I ran out and bought two boxes of Junior Mints and two bags of Pepperidge Farms Mint Chocolate Milano Minis.  I simply tied them together and printed two more cards.  Preschool teachers:  appreciated!

Jessica

Christmas Gifts for Students

Over the last few posts, I've shown you the gifts I made for various teachers and administrators in our world.  My kids also needed gifts for their classmates.

Griffin's teacher just asked each child to bring in $2 to purchase an activity book and pencil from her collection, and they'll give those to a classmate at their party.  Nolan's teacher asked that each student bring in a small gift for each student in their class (19 kids total).  Nora had to bring in some sort of gift or treat for every girl in her dance class.

I'll start with Nora's gifts.

Since her class is all 4-year-old girls who dressed up as princesses for Halloween, we started by purchasing princess lip balms.  We found 8-packs of them at Target and picked up two of those.  I let Nora choose a bag of Christmas candy, and she chose a mixed bag of Snickers, Milkyway, and Twix.  I bought treat bags from Walmart.

Nora helped me put one lip balm and two candies in each bag.  I rolled the tops of the bags down and put the adhesive-backed bag toppers on the bags.

I wrote "Merry Christmas! from" on the backs and had Nora sign her name.

These made neat little packages to hand out at her dance Christmas party, and I think they were a hit.

I decided to let myself off the hook for Nolan's class and just buy gifts.  He has 19 total kids in his class, including Nolan, so I bought a package of 18 little mazes at Target and called it done.

When I told him there aren't enough for him to have one, he made a face at me.  But then I reminded him that he'll be bringing home holiday pencils, stickers, candies, and other random crap toys.  He got over it.

A few more items checked off my Christmas gift list!

Jessica

Extra Teacher Gifts

I already showed you the first batch of gifts I made for the boys' school teachers and the second batch of gifts I made for the school secretary, school nurse, and Nora's dance teacher. 

Today I want to show you what I made for the dance teacher's assistants.  I didn't want to spend much money but wanted to give them some sort of gift to show appreciation and wish them Merry Christmas.

I saw multiple versions of "Hand Santa-tizer" on Pinterest, so I'm not even sure who deserves credit for this idea.  I'll show you my version.

I went to Walgreen's and bought two hand sanitizers for each assistant, one with aloe and one apple scented.  These were $0.99 each.

I left the labels on the apple scented ones and wrapped them with a piece of red paper, overlapping the ends on the back side and securing with glue. 

I used scalloped scissors to cut two strips of white paper and glued them to the fronts of each sanitizer.

I cut a strip of black paper and wrapped it around like a belt.

I wanted something gold for the belt buckle, and I remembered that I have some gold washi tape that I found on clearance awhile back.  I cut a small square of the tape and used my craft knife (like a scalpel) to cut a square out of the center.  Then I applied it over the belt.

While I was getting my gold tape, I came across some red polka dot tape.  I decided to use that to cover the other sanitizers.  For these (the aloe sanitizers), I peeled off the labels from the bottles first because my tape is slightly translucent.  Then I carefully wrapped one strip of tape around the top of the bottle.  Then I lined up the next row of tape under that, and I continued until the bottle was covered.

I typed up a little something and printed it on cardstock to make little tags for the Santa bottles.

Each assistant received one Santa-tizer and one polka dotted sanitizer.  I put them in gift bags and added some Christmas candy and cards made by Nora.

Since I had all the paper scraps left over from previous projects and already had the decorative tapes, these gifts only cost me $0.99 per hand sanitizer plus the cost of the candy.  I'm sure I'll be making more of these next year!

Jessica

Teacher Christmas Gifts

My boys have fantastic teachers.  This year I was thinking about how these women are also wives and moms, and they have to find time to prepare for Christmas too. 

So I decided to make each teacher a basket of items to help them wrap their Christmas gifts.

I shopped at Hobby Lobby when all Christmas items were 50% off, and I also picked up some items from Walmart and Deals.

I bought several colors of tissue paper, a dispenser with 8 colors of ribbon, bows, shredded paper for gift filler, good scissors, and good tape.

I was able to make some products go further by dividing them between the two teachers' gifts.

I bought a package of red large bows and a package of green large bows, and I pulled a little switcheroo so I could give each teacher two of each color.

I bought a pack of 20 Christmas cards and divided them up to give 10 to each teacher.

I picked up little Christmas stickers (envelope seals) and put one sheet in each basket.

I bought a 2-pack of good pens (for writing all those Christmas cards and gift tags) and gave one to each teacher.

I already had Avery labels on hand, and I wanted to print personalized gift labels for the teachers.  For reasons yet unidentified, those labels would not print correctly.  I tried the online templates.  I tried the Word templates.  After about four attempts, I gave up.  So I ordered labels from Shutterfly.  I got one set free and got the other 30% off.  I still spent more money than I would have using the labels I already had, but I was willing to pay to stop being so frustrated with my computer.

I had a vision of what I wanted as the vessels for all these Christmas goodies, but I couldn't find it.  So I bought cute Christmas baskets/bins from Hobby Lobby.

I wrapped the filled bins with decorative cellophane wrap and tied it with ribbon.  I topped the gifts off with cards telling each teacher how much I appreciate them spending their time and energy on my kids.  I think that's what they really need for Christmas--to know that they are appreciated!

Before I had to order the Shutterfly labels, I spent just under $20 on each teacher's gift.  I was pretty happy with what I got for the money!  I may have busted my budget in the end, but it was worth it to stop trying to figure out how to print the labels myself.

The boys delivered their teachers' gifts on Monday of this week.  I wanted to send them in last week so the teachers would have plenty of time to use these items, but I just couldn't get it all finished before this past weekend.

I'm hoping these teachers know how much we appreciate them, and I hope our gifts help them as they get ready for Christmas this year.

Jessica

Nora Started Preschool

So...this post is so very, astonishingly, embarrassingly overdue.  But I couldn't just let it fall through the cracks.

Last month Nora, my youngest baby, started preschool.

She chose her own outfit.  For a moment I considered playing the Mom-gets-to-choose-first-day-of-school-outifts card.  But then I decided just to let her go to her first official day of school as exactly herself.

She was all ready to go with her Ariel backpack and her hair in the braid she requested (even though her hair can't stand to be contained in a braid and starts busting out by the time I pick her up at 11:30).

Nora is attending the same preschool that my boys went to, but she has different teachers (the boys had the same two teachers, but one retired and one got a job teaching elsewhere).

She only has preschool three mornings per week.  I usually get about two hours of kid-free time while she's at preschool, and that time usually goes to running errands, having my own hair appointments or dental appointments, doing housework, or volunteering at the boys' school.  One day I got to go with Nora's class on a field trip to a local pumpkin farm.  Seriously, this is the good life.

Nora with her good friend Dakota on the first day of school

Jessica