Family Getaway

*This is my last chance to publish this post this year, and--by golly--I'm gonna do it!  I've been working on it since EASTER.  The stupid problem my computer has been having with pictures caused this post to be impossible to prepare.  Each and every picture took anywhere from 10-20 minutes to upload.  Ridiculous.  But I win.  I'm publishing this thing.  Happy Easter and Happy New Year!

One night several weeks ago, Jared and I were discussing the upcoming Easter weekend.  We realized that it is the only Sunday during the entire year when neither of us has responsibilities at church.  Whole year--one Sunday off.

We contemplated this fact.  We added other facts.  He was running ragged at work.  I was running ragged at home.  We missed each other and desperately wanted time with just our family.

These facts added up to one very controversial conclusion:  we should go away for Easter weekend.  That's right:  we would not be in our home church on Easter Sunday.

Before you get too bent out of shape, keep in mind that we try to be grateful every single day that Jesus died for us and rose again, conquering death and allowing us to be forgiven and spend eternity with Him.  Prayer led us to a sense of peace about skipping town for Easter weekend in order to be renewed as individuals and as a family.

We didn't even book our trip until about a week and a half before the getaway weekend.  Jared picked both the location and the actual house we rented.  I didn't make a packing list.  I didn't plan meals ahead of time.  We did not schedule activities ahead of time.

If you know me at all, you know this is NOT the way I usually operate.  I admit it was kinda awesome.

So where did we go and what did we do?

We went to a little town in Southern Illinois and stayed in an awesome house on lots of acres of land, including a pond for fishing as well as woods for exploring and rocks for climbing.

The house had one wall of windows, and it led out to a balcony with rocking chairs.

The back side of the house with an outdoor eating area and a grill

We weren't sure how the kids would do with this kind of vacation.  They expect "vacation" to mean beach and pool.  We did have our amazing vacation last year to Michigan, but even that had swimming in the lake and a brief trip to a beach at Lake Michigan.

The first day we were there, I suggested that we go hiking in the woods to see what we could find.  The kids referred to this as "exploring," and it became their favorite thing ever.

When we were out exploring for the first time, Nolan and I had this conversation:

Nolan:  Mom, I've never seen you get dirty.
Me:  See?  I told you Vacation Mom is different than Everyday Mom.
Nolan:  I like Vacation Mom better.

Guess what?  I like Vacation Mom better, too.

On our exploring trips, we tried to find as many things as possible.  We focused on plants, animals, and other living things.  I found that taking pictures of the things we found helped me not to get too grossed out.

It's too bad this picture came out so dark because it is FUNNY!!  The lizard moved suddenly right as I took the picture.

There was a road from our house to the nearby pond.  We LOVED fishing there, and we also found more critters in and near the water.

These are slimy strings of frog eggs, and there were tons of them everywhere!

A tiny minnow Griffin caught in his net

A clearer view of the frog eggs

Ants on a log.  Literally.

There were about six turtles that lived in the pond, but they never let us get close enough to get a decent picture.

We weren't sure how fishing was going to go.  Jared had to do all the gross jobs of baiting hooks and touching slimy things, of course.  Griffin hooked nearly every family member at one point or another.  For awhile, it was just a game of keeping everyone safe and not bleeding.

Eventually everyone found their fishing groove.  The kids figured out how to cast and how to enjoy the game of trying to get a fish.  Jared and I even got to fish once we got the kids set up.

Jared caught the first fish.  Then I caught my own little bluegill, just slightly larger than Jared's.  Then the boys caught bitty fish of their own.  Nora pouted because she was the only one who hadn't caught a fish.  And then, she caught THE fish of the trip.  And on a Barbie fishing pole, mind you.

This is one of my very favorite pictures!

 

Seriously.  She puts her Nora girly flair on everything, even fishing!

Griffin ADORED this tiny baby bass

I loved the kids using their imaginations with the sticks and rocks.

We were not afraid of dirt on this vacation

When Jared and I wanted to sit together, the kids could go play on the swing set.

Going on another adventure

My boots!

We had a super awesome Easter egg hunt on the property.

These were the "horses with shirts" on the property next to ours.

This is "Donkley" (named by Nora).  He is a lovable donkey who enjoys eating fresh chives pulled from the ground and hand fed to him by adorable children.

It was such an amazing weekend filled with adventures and all sorts of new things.  We will remember this family getaway forever!

And we might not be around next Easter either...

Jessica

This Is Real

Things have been nuts-o around here.  You too?  We've had all sorts of Christmas programs, business trips, school volunteer jobs, illness, meetings, gatherings, shopping, cleaning, wrapping, pushing children through developmental hiccups, and feelings of generally being swallowed whole by life (Jonah-in-the-whale style).

Last Saturday we went to some friends' house for their annual Christmas party.  We get together with this family about once per month, but we get to see other mutual friends each year at their Christmas party and sometimes at couples game nights.

This year's Christmas party included the host family, my family, and just three other families.  It was really nice.  I didn't have that awkwardness that comes whenever I'm required to socialize with people I don't know well.

Yesterday the party host sent a text to Jared and me to let us know that the wife from one of those three families had passed away.

I couldn't believe what I was reading.  Our life has been so completely crazy lately that at times I have felt out of touch with reality.  I stared at that text and thought surely my mind had cracked under the stress and I was imagining awful things.  But then Jared replied (he was on a business trip at the time), and I began to accept that this news was true.

We really don't know much at this point.  She died in her sleep, and the cause is unknown.  She's roughly my age.  She and her husband have three beautiful daughters.  She had just been telling me on Saturday about each girl and what parenting them is like right now.  The oldest is 13 and is very responsible.  This joyful mom told me how lucky they are that their daughter is such a great kid and how she really will be fine through the teen years.

We played a game of Christmas movie trivia, and Jared and I ended up winning the gift brought to the party by this couple whose life is now forever fractured.  The gift contained a Christmas potholder that I used to take freshly baked rolls out of my oven today, a Christmas towel, and a Santa candle warmer that is currently lending a warm glow to my kitchen.  These items were all purchased by this friend who is suddenly gone.

I don't understand.

I keep thinking about this woman and her family.  Are there Christmas gifts that she purchased for her girls?  Will her kids open their last gifts from their mom?  My mind keeps replaying our time together.  I wonder how her husband and children will make it through this Christmas.  And maybe every Christmas after.

I can't stop thinking about these people.

And yet there's another thought that is blazing to the forefront of my mind now:  this is real.  Death is real.  People die.  Often with no warning at all.

The urgency of talking to people about God is so intensified within me.  Anyone whose path I cross could snuggle into bed tonight and wake up in eternity.  Have I shown them how to choose where their eternity will be?

My church just finished a series on heaven called Indescribable.  Click here to see our previous sermons, and you can go back to the sermons on heaven.

This series reminded me just how real heaven and hell are.  Life on this planet really does come to an end, and people really do go to only one of those two places.  I've never seen it, but I believe it with everything in me.

Not all people will go to heaven.  Not all nice people will go to heaven.  The only people who will go to heaven are those who believe the following.  God is the one and only God, the one who created all things.  God came down to earth in the form of Jesus, a baby who was fully human and fully God, and who was conceived within a faithful woman who was a virgin.  Don't try to understand all of that in human terms because God's ways are greater than our ways.  Jesus lived on this very earth and did and said all of what is recorded in the Bible.  Then He fulfilled the will of God by taking on the sin of all mankind and dying a horribly painful death in order to pay the penalty on our behalf.  Because Jesus paid for our sin and defeated death when He rose to life again, He now offers us the opportunity to live in His forgiveness here on earth and then live with Him in heaven for all eternity.

"If you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." Romans 10:9

The Bible is a treasure trove of words from our God.  He doesn't want even one of His children to miss out on the forgiveness He offers.  He doesn't want even one of his precious people to choose hell.  But He does allow us to choose for ourselves.

If I go to sleep tonight and my earthly body gives out before morning, I am completely certain that I will be safe with my Savior.

Are you certain?  Are you confident that you'll go to heaven when you die?  What about your family members?  Friends?  Favorite waitress, grocery cashier, neighbor?

Because this is real.

I believe this so much that I would bet my life on it.  In fact, I have.

I know it won't be long before life tries to distract me with scheduling conflicts, family drama, and holiday weight.  I need to record this raw moment to help me remember.  This is real.

Jessica

Be Afraid

This week I did something so dumb that I had to laugh at myself.

It started with a Bible verse.  The verse is Isaiah 41:10:

"Don't be afraid, for I am with you.  Don't be discouraged, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."

I have a history with this verse.  This is the verse God spoke to me as comfort when I was pregnant with a baby I didn't plan and doctors told me he may not survive.  God breathed new life into these ancient words in order to give me comfort and stability in a very difficult time.

Recently this Bible verse has been stalking me.

My husband was waiting to hear if he would be one of the thousands of Caterpillar employees to be laid off last week, and a close friend of mine sent me a text of prayer and encouragement.  She said Isaiah 41:10 was the verse God had given her for this situation.  It made me smile because it was God's way of reminding me of His faithfulness before.  I smiled and whispered "I love you too, God."

But then the verse kept showing up.  In a Bible study.  In a devotion.  On the radio.

Do you know what my response was?  FEAR!  God said, "Don't be afraid," and I got very afraid!  As I was driving and the sugary sweet radio announcer read the familiar words from Isaiah, I nearly crashed my car as panic struck me.  I suddenly realized that God must be warning me about some impending terrible situation.

My word.  I can't make this stuff up.  My first reaction was fear with a panic chaser.  To the words of the living God speaking directly to me:  Don't.  Be.  Afraid.

It's like when someone says, "Don't look!"  You immediately look, right?

Or a phone call saying, "First of all, don't worry; everyone is ok.  But..."  I clutch my chest and shrilly ask "What happened?!"

But as I gripped my steering wheel as tightly as the panic gripped me, I thought for a moment about what was happening.  And I cracked up.  Driving along alone in my car.  I laughed with my nose crinkled and my teeth and gums bared.  God pursued me with words of comfort and I freaked out.

Only someone like me--or most members of the female gender--could take something so simple and make it complicated.  God sent me a simple message and I read so far into it that I lost the original words.  I found some mystical hidden message and assumed I must be on the crumbling ledge of tragedy.

But you know what God was actually saying to me?  Don't be afraid.  I'm with you.  Don't be discouraged.  I'm your God.  I'll give you strength.  I'll help you.  I hold the ultimate victory in my hands, and I'll hold you in those same hands.

What precious words.  And my poor, persistent God had to tell me a good three or four times before I heard Him.  I picture Him in my head as a hand-drawn character from the Sunday comics, sprawled out with squiggly lines coming up from His head, exhausted from His task.  But I also think He got a good laugh with me.

So please hear God and take Him at His word.  His actual words, not the ones you fear could be wrapped up in dark clothing hiding behind the message.  Hear Him tell you that He's yours, and He will hold you, and He wants to share His victory with you and be your strength.

And it doesn't hurt to laugh at yourself every now and then.

Jessica

Sudden

Yesterday I woke up to Jared whispering "Happy sixteen years!"  It was exactly sixteen years since the day Jared first asked if I wanted to officially be his girlfriend.  We've been together ever since.

We thought that was what our day would mostly be about.  We had planned a date in the evening so we could spend some much-needed time together.

But our day took a turn and left us focused on less-than-joyful things.

Our babysitter backed out so our date was cancelled.

Then began a string of sudden tragedies all around us.

I decided to read a bit of daily news, and I was horrified to read about the C-130 that crashed in Afghanistan, killing its crew.  One of my best friends is married to a pilot who flies C-130s.  He has been to Afghanistan.  This very well could have been him in this story.  The reality of it hit me hard as I reached out to my friend and realized I had very little comfort to offer (other than gratitude that her husband is safe).

We had some friends over after school, and as I was walking them out, we heard sirens barreling toward us.  We looked up and saw black smoke rapidly rolling out of a house and into the sky.  People seemed to appear out of nowhere as a stream of police cars, firetrucks, rescue squads, and ambulances rushed to the burning house.  The fire was extinguished as neighbors informed me that the house belonged to an elderly couple.  The husband made it out of the house, but his wife did not.  The late news last night confirmed that she was deceased by the time the firefighters got to her.

I didn't know these people, but I couldn't stop thinking about it.  That man lost his house and his wife in just a few moments.  This was also the third house fire in our neighborhood in the past year.  I don't feel super secure about the safety of our house.

I sent a text to my family about the fire, and my dad replied by letting us know that a friend of his had passed away suddenly from a massive heart attack while he was out in his corn field.  Again, this was a sudden death with no warning.  I felt very shaken.

We were outside talking to neighbors and friends who had driven over to see what was happening.  Nora checked both sides of the street and then began to cross right in front of a parked car.  That parked car began to drive at just that moment.  I shouted Nora's name and she backed up to the curb, and thankfully the driver paused.  Nora ran into the house crying because I had shouted at her, but at least she was safe.  It was such a close call.

Once I could squeeze my car between emergency vehicles to get out of our neighborhood, I took Nora to a friend's house.  Her friend's dad works for Caterpillar, the same company my husband Jared works for.  If you read the news at all, you know that Caterpillar is in the midst of laying off thousands of employees.  We discussed the possibilities of how this might play out for both of our families.  Jared has already told me that he feels confident that he could get another job.  It just would require that we move.  Moving isn't exactly tragic, but it isn't easy.  I trust that God had planned for my sister to move to Florida.  But it hurt like crazy to let her go.  It still stings when we don't get to talk often enough.  I trust that God would lead us to the next job if it came to that, but I also know it would hurt.

I didn't sleep very well last night.  I just couldn't stop feeling the heaviness.  So many situations of sudden tragic loss and all of them were so close to us.  Is this a warning?  A coincidence?  A reminder to be so grateful for our safety?

I was lying awake during the night when Jared woke up too.  I told him I couldn't stop thinking about the man from the house fire and everything that had happened.  He wrapped his arm around my waist and squeezed me tight against him.  He said sleepily, "Happy sixteen years."

We know this world is a broken place, and being part of God's people doesn't keep us from experiencing the heartache this world can bring.  We are not of the world but we sure are in it.  I know God has a plan for me personally and for my family.  I trust Him to lead us through His plan for us.  The very emotional human part of me just doesn't want to experience the growing pains along the way. 

People often quote Jeremiah 29:11:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

I love these words and I believe them.  But I have also studied them in context.  They were written to God's people who had been in exile.  God's people had been rebellious and had been warned over and over to turn back to Him.  Because they chose not to obey him, God allowed the Babylonians to take over their land, destroy their temple, and scatter God's remaining people.  The words of Jeremiah 29:11 were spoken to those weary, broken down people once they had been through the heartache and God was ready to restore them.  God was being so compassionate toward them and was restoring their hope and faith in Him.  I cling to the reassurance of these words, but I also know what can come before them.

If my husband was killed on his job, my God would have a plan for me.  If I lost a family member in a house fire, God would take care of me.  If my child was hit by a car or someone I loved had a sudden massive heart attack or my whole family had to move to somewhere unknown so my husband could have a job, well God would certainly give us a future.  But I honestly still struggle with fear of the sudden unknown as well as fear of the pain.

Jared reminded me of our discussions at church as we are studying heaven.  I told him I am 100% secure in knowing my eternity is in heaven.  It's the time on earth that churns my stomach.

So I'm gathering up some verses to help me combat that fear.  I need these and maybe you do too.

"So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you."  Psalm 56:3

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:6-7

"Peace is what I leave you; it is my own peace that I give you.  I do not give it as the world does.  Do not be worried and upset; do not be afraid."  John 14:27

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind."  2 Timothy 1:7

"But now this is what the Lord says--he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you Israel:  'Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.'" Isaiah 43:1

"Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."  Joshua 1:9

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6:34

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."  1 Peter 5:7

"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?  The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"  Psalm 27:1

"I tell you my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more.  But I will show you whom you should fear:  Fear him who, after your body has been killed, has authority to throw you into hell.  Yes, I tell you, fear him.  Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies?  Yet not one of them is forgotten by God.  Indeed the very hairs on your head are all numbered.  Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."  Luke 12:4-7

More verses to consider:  Psalm 94:19, Proverbs 12:25, Psalm 23:4, Luke 12:22-26, Psalm 55:22, Deuteronomy 31:6, Isaiah 41:13-14, Psalm 46:1, Psalm 118:6-7, Proverbs 29:25, Psalm 34:4, Romans 8:38, Zephaniah 3:17, Psalm 91

Jessica